Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Lost in a Sea of Despair.

I am lost... Searching for something much bigger than what I am, or something I can't get from talking to my friends.

I'm searching for stability.

I want a normal personality, not two. I switch. And it's because of my other half, the other me inside my brain.

She's the ED, the self hatred, everything.

Without her, though, would I be as good a writer? Would I still be able to understand so much? Would I be the same person?

No.

And I know that for a fact. Because, the me that's writing right now, the one controlling, doesn't like to speak up. She's shy... She's... Different.

With them both, there's somewhat of a balance on the outside, on the inside, I'm a fighting mess.

With medication, would I be a balance of the two, or would one of them win over?

I'm terrified... Can someone help me?

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