If you do it - I'll do it.

The worst fucking thing you can tell a self-harmer is that you'll do it if they do it.

I, from experience, can tell you it only drives me further into insanity and brings me panic attacks and nightmares. There is only one person I can handle telling me that and that is Sora. But other than that, just no. And that's because of the relationship Sora and I have. One of us does something, the other does too. I don't know why he's the only person it is okay with... But it's usually because he's on the phone with me when he says it and he can calm me down.

But I just had someone tell me that they're going to cut because I did. I froze, started shaking, and started crying.

No.
That is not allowed.
Nope.
Nada.
Zilch.
Nein.
Asdfghjkl.

I just don't get how... How someone can do that to me. Now it's like... If I screw up, so and so screws up too. It's not okay. I can't handle that. I just can't. I would be so fucking scared. And that fear would drive me to more self harm which would only make the cycle worse.

I just don't understand people. They think that it is the only way to get me to stop. Nope. It is the only way to secure the fact that I will end up doing it again.

I want help, a friend, someone who won't scream at me for doing it, but they show their disappointment.

This is an addiction, a fucking problem. It is not curable over night and someone that tells you it is, is lying to you.

Yeah, mind over matter. Definitely. But people go to REHAB for addictions. Self harm is a fucking addiction. So deal.

I just... Gah. I hate how I am feeling right now. I really am. I am so close to doing it again because of that....